Jobs I Didn’t Apply For — You’ll see why

It’s time for another round of “Jobs I Didn’t Apply For.”

1. This would have been the ultimately cool job, but I do not have the athletic skills, and I am not sure the costume would fit. (I have edited and included only parts of the requirements)

Mascot Performer – Full Time Position

Organization: Adirondack Phantoms (AHL Affiliate of Philadelphia Flyers)
Title: Director of Fun and Community Development

JOB OVERVIEW:
The Adirondack Phantoms of the American Hockey League are searching for an enthusiastic, organized and motivated individual to provide top quality fun and entertainment as the team’s mascot. This is a permanent, full time position. Of particular enjoyment, the successful candidate will work along-side team executives and the original “Phillie Phanatic” to assist in the creation and transition into a newly designed and created lovable character to replace the existing mascot. The successful candidate should have one or more of the following attributes:

RESPONSIBILITIES (Some)

• Perform and Entertain at all Home Games, Team Events and Community Appearances, and Various Other Games or Events
• Responsible for mascot costume operations including creativity, care, cleaning, maintenance, etc.
• Manage Teams’ Calendar and Scheduling of Community Appearances
• Maintain Mascot’s Social Networking Sites
• Responsible for Hiring, Training and Managing of the Back-Up Mascots and Handlers

QUALIFICATIONS ( Some)
• Must be able to Work in a Costume
• Must be Courteous, Friendly, Energetic, Reliable, and Punctual
• Must be proficient in Microsoft Office (Word, Excel, Publisher etc.)
• Must be able to Communicate Nonverbally and Create Spontaneous Crowd Interaction
• Must have a Great Sense of Humor and Love Working with People
• Must be a Great Dancer

2. Editorial Intern at FreeGeorge.com. It’s a hyper-local Internet site. You get to work 16-20 hours a week, take pictures, and write, edit and post stories. All for the glory of working in the media, and maybe college credits.

3. “Key Grip for low-budget feature.”

Sure, tell us right up front that not only do you get to run around like a madman, you get to do it for low pay.

4. And here’s another time where I rue never having gotten my tattoo license:

Just as it appeared:

Artist Needed For Busy Tattoo Shop!

we r addicted to ink tattoo and we downtown and hands down the highest volume tattoo shop in the capt dist. we do upwards of 30 tattoos per day. no kiddin so we will train the right person male or female just need to be willin to learn. and of course make lots of money!! u can call the shop @ 434-OUCH

5. “Unlicensed JD wanted for research for pro se litigant. $10 per hour.”

Low-budget much?

6. “Baseball Coach for Youth Travel Team”

Burnt Hills- Ballston Lake Junior Baseball’s successful youth travel baseball program would like to take it to the next level.

We are seeking one or more managers/coaches for the summer travel program to help us do that. Positions are part-time temporary between June and August, with possibilities in the fall if desired. Players ages are from 13 to 18 years of age including many players for the successful Burnt Hills High School athletic program.

Candidates should have experience in the game. This can be a great opportunity for high school or graduate assistant coaches.
Applicants are encouraged to apply for this year or next.

This year or next? Job security much?

It’s $1200 for the season (summer) for putting up with parents who are adamant their kid is the next Great One.

7. “Good Wit People”

That’s all I need to know.

I am “good wit people,” but it also looks like an ad for Belgian beer.

All jobs from the Glens Falls or Albany Craigslist.

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One Response to Jobs I Didn’t Apply For — You’ll see why

  1. Carla says:

    “QUALIFICATIONS ( Some)
    • Must be able to Work in a Costume
    [..]
    • Must be proficient in Microsoft Office (Word, Excel, Publisher etc.)”

    Do you think one needs to apply both skills at the same time? Good thing it’s a phantom and not a mascot with plush muppet-hands.

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